Thursday, March 6, 2008

the F is for Farm

Hey, guys! Ababis here, Waradwenne's favorite minion...or so I thought until last night. Sit, my friends, and let me tell you a sad tale of treachery and abandonment.

Last night's adventures started out well. Wara took me to a new place, which was way too pretty for my liking. There were some fires there, which are always nice, but they were more for decoration than actual burning. Stupid blood elves. What do they know about fires, anyway? Fortunately we didn't stay there long. Wara met up with her friends and we all went on a brisk jog to the south.

Wara's friends are okay, I guess, and she really seems to like them, but they don't let me do much. I get to cast like ONE fireball at a gnarly-looking spider before one of them slices off its head! Where's the fun in that? If we're going to kill something, why not make it suffer first? Right? Am I right, or am I right? Sigh.

Anyway, we run for a while (boring!) and even have to swim a little (the horrors!), to find a specific little cave on a specific island where we can kill this one dude. Let me tell you a secret about him: he's not so tough. Although I did get two fireballs off, I think he was dead by the time the second one hit him. That cow sure likes her moonfire. Mmmm...barbeque...sorry. Where was I? Oh yes.

With cave-man dead, we're off for more running, back to that horrible Silvermoon place. I swear I'd rather spend time with the TAUREN than there. Srsly! We run around a bit, Wara does some smelting which I like, 'cause we're near a forge, some magic happens, and we're done with that cursed placed. Our light-swinger can resurrect people (so I can kill them again, I think). It's back to Orgrimmar and into the Ragefire Chasm! But, before you get too excited, this is where our tale takes a sad turn.

I suffered through all of this running and swimming so that I could go kill those troggs underneath Orgrimmar. It's what I'm made for, baby! You know, back in high school they used to call me Ababis Troggburner. Really! I'm not making it up! Well, I might be making it up a little. Who are you to judge?

Anyway, back to The Betrayal. We go into the Chasm and kill a few troggs (joy!), and Wara replaces me! Puts ME on the bench in favor of that...that blueberry! Can you believe that? What a bitch! She didn't even apologize. She was just like, "Okay, impy, you're out." Not even a fake apology.

But, you want to hear a secret? C'mere...closer...I heard that old Konvhug wiped their entire party. Swear! He's going to blame Wara, I'll bet, but I know that he did it on purpose. Oh, he comes, so I'll let him finish the story, but believe me about the wipe. His fault. Totally.

I don't like this place.

Last night I was comfortably roaming around the Twisting Nether when I was rudely summoned to serve my mistress. I helped her and her friends kill some ugly troggs in that awful place full of fire, when something odd happened. My mistress and her companions were standing around, plotting how they were going to lay waste to the group of troggs ahead when she ordered me to go attack. Not one to question my mistress, I obeyed, and we were all quickly overwhelmed. Ah, death. How quiet.

Rest was not in my future, though, and I was soon re-summoned to serve at her side. This time our adventures were more successful, surprisingly, and we quickly killed everything in that horrid cave. My mistress and her companions were so pleased, in fact, that she didn't let me return to the Nether, and made me go back into the cavern once again. Again, we killed everything in sight efficiently, sending them to death's sweet embrace. My mistress and her companions seemed excited about some of the items that they stole from the dead corpses of our victims, but I care not about such things.

And now I return to the Nether, until I am summoned again.

Quote of the night: "No, this is the 'other' clockwise." - Salindar


Dammerung said...

Woo Konvhug.

Always nice to read another tale.

Daxenos said...

I'm pretty sure that if you click the passive button after you send in your pet, that the pet will return to your side.

I know that's how PuddyTat responds when I have to recall him after sending him onto the wrong mob.

Those pet controls aren't labeled the

Mike said...

Nice angle on the write-up.

The void-walker reminds me of Marvin the Paranoid Android from The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

Rabbit Stew said...

Wara I just saw this. And what fun to read on a Monday morning at work.

My favorite quote:
Right? Am I right, or am I right? Sigh

I almost felt bad for the little minion.